I live quite close to London, less than 20 miles, from the centre in fact, and apart from 3 years in Oz in the 70s, I spent a lot of my working life, travelling to and from the Capital, to various jobs, and have always enjoyed going there, walking the streets, (in a non solicitous way, you understand!) being in the hustle and bustle of a big City
A walk along the Embankment, on a sunny day is great, walking across the bridge to the Tate Modern, going to Soho, the West End for shows, and restaurants, Piccadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square, a glass of wine, in Covent Garden, watching the world go by  or getting totally sh*tfaced, with friends at St Catherine’s Dock, after work on Fridays. The Bloody Tower and Tower Bridge 
I was lucky enough to see The Sun at the Tate Modern – Truly AWESOME!
The Natural History Museum, The Whispering Gallery in St Paul’s Cathedral, The London Aquarium, or the London Eye, art shows at Battersea Park. Party in the Park, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben……
London may no longer swing but it certainly ROCKS!
All have been in walking distance of places I’ve worked, or at least a short hop on the London Underground, which can be an adventure in itself!
Those of you who’ve been on an Underground train or Metro will understand – quite different to an overground train!
The atmosphere down there, is warm and moist, the smell of the ozone, as the electricity jumps from rail to wheel, the squeal of the brakes and the rush of hot air as a train pulls into a station. The multitudes rushing to get to work, crushing crowds, raincoated and umbrella’d!  There’s an anticipation, that hangs in the air, an expectation of the day to come or the evening at home, or the weekend with friends.
Rush hour brings it’s own joys, standing with your nose in some ones armpit.  Reading a newspaper upside down  squashed in, suddenly finding yourself standing on the platform, at the wrong station, as the tide, pours out the doors.
The London Underground ….. the arteries that keeps London alive, and the trains, the plasma and the people the red blood cells.
And all if that is so, then the drivers must be the funny bone! I found this when I googled the Station nearest to where I wanted to go!
Below, are some real announcements, made on the Underground …….. it seems humour, wit, irony or plain and desperate sarcasm, is alive and well and living on The Tube
1) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you’re all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you’ll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."
2) "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I’ll let you know any further information as soon as I’m given any."
3) "Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won’t reach our destination."
4) "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let’s take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now…. ‘Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall…..’."
5) "We are now travelling through Baker Street… As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don’t think about things like that".
6) "Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me."
7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: "Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman… unfortunately, towels are not provided."
8) "Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause .) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care – I’m going home…."
9) "Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with ‘Please hold the doors open.’ The two are distinct and separate instructions."
10) "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."
11) "We can’t move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door."
12) "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage – what part of ‘stand clear of the doors’ don’t you understand?"
13) "Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause…) "This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bl**dy golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways!"
14) "May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it’s only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage."
 Watching it go by, with a glass of wine certainly lets it slip by easier!
 Thought to have been what the American’s, thought they were buying, when they bought London Bridge (DOH!)
 But no longer Bowler Hatted
 Hopefully deodorised but not always!
 If you travel a lot by train, this is a skill you’ll quickly learn!
 Watching your friends laughing at you as the train pulls out the station!