I had a clock in my bedroom, it was a nice clock, it had a round face, a frame made of soft, brown wood, and hands that moved slowly, showing the minute and the hour, in roman numerals, It hung on my bedroom wall, and hummed away to itself, under it’s breath and it told me the time, every single time I looked at it. No haggling, was involved, it didn’t say “eeerrrr, let me see now….?”or “give me a second, I’m doing something”or “I will in a minute!” without giving it any notice at all, each time I looked, it told the me the time. Oh, it had it’s faults, slowing down when it needed a new battery but on the whole,
It was a king amongst clocks
Then I woke up one morning and it had died!
So, I thought it’s about time to by a new clock, and I did.
It was sleek, and modern and so different from my old clock, It was made of glass, with little circular mirrors where the numbers go, with beautiful silver hands, 3 of them this time, and I hung it on my bedroom wall. and went to bed. And in the silence of the night, the clock said …. tic, toc, click, tic toc, click, tic toc click, tic toc click, tic toc click……..
I took it down and hung it in the kitchen.
This time, I bought an ultra modern, steel grey, digital alarm clock, which is always right to within 1 second every ten thousand years*, and is silently updated by a radio signal, from Loughborough**, in the middle of the night. and was completely noiseless! And in the darkness if I wanted to know the time, I could just touch the top, and it had a soft blue light, that reassured me that it wasn’t time to get up yet.
Then one day I had to be in work, at 6am, so I set my clever alarm clock for 5.15. and went to sleep. And in the middle of the dark night, the Loughborough signal …. stopped. ……….. “No probs” thought my clever alarm clock, I’ll just speak to another radio, and it did, in Berlin and updated the time once more, because it obviously didn’t want to lose a second! and I arrived at work at 5am.
And the shiny, new, digital alarm clock, now sits in the spare bedroom!
Next another wallclock, stainless steel, two hands, shiny bits, no alarm, no radio signal telling it what to do. I put the battery in and listened, nothing, I hung it on the wall, and went to bed. I could hear the cistern running, for the cold water, filling the tank, in the loft,
the central heating pump, pumping warm water around the radiators, warmimg my house, a car driving past,
in the dark moonlit, silence of the night, outside my window….
I read my book for a while, turned off the light, plumped my pillows, and settled to sleep……..
and the clock said …… tit tot tot tit tit tot.tot tit tit tot…..
. ……………………… oh bollox!!! .
…. I gave up and went to sleep!
* Obviously this can’t be proved, as no one will be around, to see, but it’s what it said on the box!
**I have no idea why it comes from Loughborough