Scotts Day Out

X

Factor?

 

Ever watched X-Factor, I’m not much of a fan, but have chuckled, laughed, looked/listened in awe and downright cringed at some of the early auditions!

 

Well my son went along to  the auditions at the O2 on Sunday, having been put forward, by his girlfriend, Ged.

 The day was filled with …… queueing, for hours in the rain,

Little or no facilities for upwards of 15000 people and once inside,

cheering and waving without making any sound!!

Scott has a better than average voice and plays guitar, better than average too,

don’t get me wrong, he probably wouldn’t be talented enough to win,

or even end up in the last few but none the less, he’s not bad!

but it’s all a bit of a con really(hmmm … there’s a surprise, you’re thinking!)

the first audition is purely to pick out the truly bad,

one of the girls he was talking to in the O2 team said this part is for the

 "Mingers" (speaks for itself) "Blingers" (the ones that argue!)

and the "Whingers" (the ones that beg and cry!)

and the exceptional, (all done in booths), as is the next,  in front of the producers,

so by the time they get to the audition in front of Cowes etc. they have passed through 2 auditions, 

fine for the very good, but awful for the bad ones, who think they are that good too!!

Just so he can be bloody awful to them, and that just for the entertainment value!!

Seems wrong to me!

Needless to say he didn’t get through!

Which was something of a relief, as he would always have wondered what category

he was put through in!!

 

While they were at the O2 I had little Amber for the day,

Ged’s 4 year old daughter,

and an Angel,

I took her round to see, Scott’s "little brother" Vinny (and baby Megan) 

who she was disappointed to find wasn’t actually LITTLE!!!

(At 6′ not little at all!)

 

Later she asked about my mum, I said "she’s not here anymore"

 

So she asked if she was dead?

 

"Yes" I said "she died 4 years ago"

 

Amber asked "Why did she die?"

 

"Because she was really, really old!" I replied

there was a pause……….

 

"How old are you?" her next question

 

I’m ….. (feel free to fill in your own number here!)

 

 

 

A look of horror crossed her face……..

 

 

"Oh NO! You’re going to die soon!!!!!"

 

Oh well …… not too soon I hope!

 

 __________

 

 

Kids!!!!!

(say the cutest things!)

 

 A grade three teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to

ask the students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling

component,she asks the students to also spell their answers.
 

Susan puts up her hand as says she had an egg.

‘E-G-G’, she says.

‘Very good,’ says the teacher.

 
Peter says he had toast.

‘T-O-A-S-T’

‘Excellent,’ she replies.
 

Johnny has his hand up and the teacher reluctantly calls on him.’

I had f**k all,’ he says.

‘F-U-C-K A-L-L’

The teacher is mortified, and scolds Johnny for this rude answer.

Later when the lesson turns to geography, she asks the students some

rudimentary questions.

Susan correctly identifies the capital of Canada .

Peter is able to tell her which ocean is off Canada ‘s east coast.

  

When it’s Johnny’s turn, the teacher remembers his rude answer from the

nutrition lesson, and decides to give him a very difficult question.

‘Johnny’ she says. ‘Where does the Ukrainian border lie?’

  

Johnny ponders the question and finally says. ‘The Ukrainian boarder lies in

bed with my mother.

That’s why I had f**k all for breakfast’.

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